You're home now. short time ago you stood over the hole in the ground. You blew a kiss, threw roses, sprinkled shovelful of dirt over the casket, and said goodbye to your husband, your soulmate, best friend you ever had.
As regards the move hungry foreigners, someone whispers to a woman wandering around with mayonnaise on her chin is her mother's sister's neighbor's cousin's dog pet sitters. It is a scene from Star Wars right, one at the bar, and you feel trapped in it. In a bit, and everyone is gone, even the dirty face dog walker. door closes and reality sets in. It does not come home. Ever. And in those first days after the funeral, will perform the simplest tasks seem monumental. You'll wonder it can do - without it
?can. And you will.
Here are ten tips to help you survive ... After the funeral:
1 Do not say that my friend, close relative, or a good neighbor, offering to spend the night (or more), and slip into something uncomfortable -. widowhood
Do not be alone that first night, not unless you have no choice. First night without him sting like a bee, and an angel to sit at the kitchen table, to turn out the lights, turn off the cell phone, and prepare a cup of tea while the kids tuck into bed, walk the dog, feed the cat, like aloe on a burn.
2 Do not carry a small notebook. And pencil.
Take them with you wherever you go, even in the bathroom. New widows run out of toothpaste, toilet paper, tissues, ear swabs, and lipstick. And they forget. If your pen and notebook in hand, you will not forget to write down the item. You will not forget to buy it. You will learn their own structure and focus, something that every new widow needs. And running order will leave the house.
3 To learn whether your financial condition.
3 To learn whether your financial condition.
...3 To learn whether your financial condition.
...3 To learn whether your financial condition.
...3 To learn whether your financial condition.
......Other bills may be suspended temporarily, but not these two. You can lie down and they want their world to go after what you have written the two checks and the data recorded in the check register, or to a small notebook, in a purse. Do not forget to put a stamp on the envelope. Do not forget to mail them. Again, this will give you a reason to leave the house.
Do not get a haircut. This is not the time. Not if you have a standing appointment and feel comfortable to sit in a chair for any amount of time. On the long list of things that will make a new widow to feel even worse, a bad hair day for the next six months rockets on top. I suggest a hair cut for a postponement of at least three months. If you do your hair really scraggly, make a ponytail and tie a ribbon in it. What? There are no tapes? What is that pink thing in the basket of fruit?
6 Do not take care of their children.
If you have small children, do not ignore them. They need you. Feed them, even if it's cold cereals. Wash his clothes and his face. Gently remind them to brush their teeth. Do not be afraid to hold them and hug them. Do not tell them, everything will be fine.
7 Do you walk the dog.
Do not change the cat litter.
Do not be sure that all the pets fed and have access to fresh water. It's not rude to fill a sink with running water, or leave the toilet seat up. Just remember to flush.
Do not get mad when Barky was an accident, when Kitty claws the carpet, or if they chase each other tail. Pets grieve, too. Watch for behaviors that require a May trip to the vet.
8 Do not take out the trash.
Do not wait until the kitchen smells like spoiled minced meat and sour milk. There is no excuse if you live alone. Put on a dress and take out the trash. Family creepy crawly things is the last thing you want for business.
9 Do not eat. Not hungry? Drink water. Keep yourself hydrated.
Do not drink alcohol. Neither beer. Even if you've always had a glass of wine with dinner, do not do it. At least temporarily. And if you never drank before, do not start now.
10 Do not cry.
Tears are clean and will help wash out the pain. The only way to process the pain to go through it, rather than around it, and not on him, not over it. This means you pay. So do not be afraid to let it out. Do not be afraid to ask for help, to call a doctor, a psychologist, a grief counselor. Do not be afraid to join the group of death. A new widow needs to come out of the house. She needs structure. She needs support. And more importantly, she needs to know she is not alone.
life will not be the same without him. That's for sure. But after the funeral, following these tips will help you, the new widow, as you develop coping mechanisms, focus, and strategies to help you help yourself as you make your way through the early stages of grief.
